The Christmas Episode
By now, ties of camaraderie have grown strong among you, despite the fact that you’ve known each other for only three days or so. But this wasn’t the first time fate brought you together. The details are hazy, but in another time at another place the five of you were called upon yet another task.
And honestly, it’s not out of place that you don’t remember this. You are adventurers. Do you remember every single job that you’ve ever done? Probably not, eh?
Anyways. It was a cold, dreary night. A snow storm was raging outside the walls of the quaint little inn. The inn, owned by a Dark Elf named Kyle O’Driver was famous for its dark ale. It was said that Kyle infused it with arcane magic, but he wouldn’t truly reveal how. He also spent most of his time brooding and pouting.
You came here after reading a pamphlet in downtown Neverwinter. The pamphlet, printed on parchment with red ink, decorated with engraved green leaves that smelt like cloves and pines, was for a grand festival. For some, this would be a great religious gathering, an opportunity to see friends and family, enjoy some food, and other merriment.
For you… Well, you came for the free booze.
I created this as a goofy bonus adventure for my main group during Bad Blood. They wanted a Christmas themed episode, so I gave them a Christmas themed episode. The premise was simple: To celebrate the holidays, our heroes go to an inn where they are promised free booze. Obviously, things don’t go quite as planned.
Chapter 1
Sethro Garnen
Kyle O’Driver engages with the players. Some banter about drinks. Kyle’s best drinks:
- The Fuzzy Sword: Spicy, red, rum-based shot
- The Last Shot: Really strong Dwarven shot, made from fermented mountain fungus.
- Starkiller Ale: The arcane infused dark ale
- Torn Apart: Tastes bitter in an unexpected way.
- The Sackler: For some reason, everybody hates this one. Not one of Kyle’s originals anyway.
The inn itself is full of some interesting people.
Byron the Singer (Bard): A branded man who used to be famous in Neverwinter. Now he bears a giant x-shaped scar on his face, a reminder of his misdeeds. He will avoid the party at all costs, but will get pretty defensive if engaged.
AC: 12 HP: 14 STR: 12 DEX: 13 CON: 10 INT: 12 WIS: 10 CHA: 12
The Dame Avian (Warlock): An elven woman with red hair, who insists that you call her Dame Avian. If you ask her why, she gets furious and attacks you with her wit and demonic powers.
AC: 12 HP: 14 STR: 11 DEX: 11 CON: 11 INT: 16 WIS: 16 CHA: 12
The Brawlin’ (Barbarian): A half-orc barbarian, who wears a black & gold wife-beater and a single golden (fake) gauntlet on his left hand. They say that if he takes his gauntlet off, he loses all his powers. Will join the party for a drink or too, but will get rowdy and fight them if he drinks too much.
AC: 16 HP: 25 STR: 17 DEX: 10 CON: 15 INT: 8 WIS: 8 CHA: 12
Simeon “Peg-Leg” Wright (Rogue): A haughty red-headed man, who claims to have a ship down in Neverwinter. Except, he doesn’t have a ship. What he has is a peg leg, a job as a deckhand, and a penchant for whistling perfectly as people are walking and dancing around him. He really wants to go to the World’s End.
AC: 12 HP: 14 STR: 12 DEX: 14 CON: 10 INT: 12 WIS: 10 CHA: 10
The players hangout for a while and engage with the other NPCs, who are all drunk. As such, it’s very likely that they will attack the party. The fights all end without anyone dying. Once the DM feels like the tension is loosening or if the party is getting bored, introduce the big villain.
A burly dwarf with greying beard enters the inn, followed by four goblins wearing what seem to be tuxedos and little hats with bells at their tops.
“Ay you lousy lot! Get us a table before we get one ourselves.” Then he laughs.
Kyle walks over to the dwarf, clearly annoyed but not perturbed. They start talking and it becomes clear that the dwarf wants to sit exactly where you are sitting right now.
Sethro Garnen (Fighter): An angry but whimsical dwarf, member of some gang. No matter what the party says, he and his goblins will attack them. Just for the heck of it.
AC: 15 HP: 16 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 14 INT: 12 WIS: 10 CHA: 8
Defeating Sethro and his goblins is worth 250 XP.
As the fight ends and Sethro falls, you realize that there are only 3 goblins in the vicinity. The last one is missing. Just as you realize this, Kyle starts to scream and punching the wall near the alcohol cabinet with all his might.
“IT’S GONE! Without it, there can be no party! No festival! Nothing! All is lost! All is lost!”
Kyle reveals to the party that the goblin has stolen the keys to the alcohol cabinet. Being the Dark Elf he is, Kyle has magically sealed it and there is literally no other way of opening the cabinet. The party might try, but every time they try to pry the door open one of the following events randomly happens. Each event is worth 100XP.
Flameskulls!: Four Flameskulls emerge from a portal that appears on the door of the alcohol cabinet and engage the party.
AC: 13 HP: 10 STR: 1 DEX: 17 CON: 14 INT: 20 WIS: 10: CHA: 9
Flameskulls can cast Fireball: 1d6+2
Spikes!: The player who touched the cabinet is trapped inside a cage filled with tiny spikes. Elsewhere in the inn, a small sprite hides. You have to find the sprite and kill it, otherwise the spikes will slowly kill the player trapped.
Spikes do 1d4 damage every round. The players must do a DC 12 Perception check to find the sprite. Once it’s found, they must battle and kill it.
AC: 16 HP: 15 STR: 10 DEX: 10 CON: 10 INT: 15: WIS: 10 CHA: 12
Sprite will attack with its claws at the nearest target (1d4) or cast magic missiles if no one is in melee range.
Wrath!: A wrathful clone of the player who touched the cabinet appears out of nowhere. The wrathful clone is angry and will fight literally anyone. The fact that their anger has been stripped away from them gives the player a disadvantage to all attack rolls until the wrathful clone is defeated.
Wrathful Clone has the same abilities and skills as the original.
Nothing?: The player tries their mightiest, but the door doesn’t open. But then, just as the player is about to give up, a single word appears on the door:
“Weak.”
Eventually, the players realize that this is pointless. At this point, they should decide to go on a journey to find the key to the alcohol cabinet. This would also be a great opportunity for them to get to know the NPCs if they haven’t already talked to them for some reason.
Chapter 2
Rudd
You leave the inn with determination. So much determination, in fact, that you are all feeling on fire. Like you’re glowing even. Wait… Hold on, that doesn’t sound right. As you realize that the glow around you is unnatural, you notice a small human girl who seems to be holding some sort of a magical lighting device at your face.
Jane Arson (Child): An eerie child, who is obsessed with the word “hope.” Each sentence she says must have the word hope in it somewhere. The more hope jokes she can make, the better it is.
AC: 15 HP: 16 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 14 INT: 12 WIS: 10 CHA: 8
Defeating Sethro and his goblins is worth 250 XP.
Jane has seen the goblin, who was headed towards the town center where there is a large crowd. The word that the key to the town’s only alcohol cabinet has disappeared has already reached them. Jane is troublesome and will try her best to annoy the party, before giving them the information they need. If attacked, Jane will cast Stardust.
If Jane disappears before she reveals any information, the party nevertheless notices that a large crowd has gathered at the town center.
Stardust: Jane blows in your direction and a cloud of glistening dust surrounds you, temporarily blinding you. As the cloud dissipates, you see that Jane has disappeared. All that’s left is a note on the ground. It reads: “I rebel.”
The party may decide to go to the town center. If they do not, they can search around the town for more clues. If any among them can pass a DC 12 perception check, they will come across one of these three clues randomly. Finding and following the clues is worth 100XP.
Clue #1: You spot some footsteps In front of an old abandoned building. The building’s windows are shut off with planks. You notice that the door is adorned with a weird icon: A ship anchor with arms, legs, and a head. There is no sound coming from inside the building. There are broken crates around the abandoned building. They are marked with the same logo of the man-anchor and smell of old, rancid wine. If you choose to look for similar boxes around the town, you will eventually reach the same place towards which Cooper will direct you.
Clue #2: You overhear a couple of shady characters, complaining about the news they’ve just heard. The annual festival without any alcohol? Unacceptable! Tonight was the night they were going to party it up and help one of them forget all about his ex-girlfriend. None of this would’ve happened two years ago. If you asked them why things would be different two years ago, they will explain to you that ever since the old winery was shut down, things have never been the same. The owner of the place still lives in town somewhere.
Clue #3: Four teenagers are walking around town, completely freaked out since there is no way they can get alcohol anymore. But one of them seems to know of a certain person who can provide them with the good stuff – for the right price. You can ask them where they could find the good stuff. They will point you to the same place Cooper does later.
If the party goes to the town center, they are confronted with an angry mob. No one is angry at them per se, but they don’t know the players and therefore approach them with suspicion. If the party asks them any questions, they huddle for 30 seconds. In the end, they elect a speaker to represent their collective views.
If defeated or outwitted, Cooper will point the party eastward to a part of town that used to be considered sketchy. Now, however, it’s full of quaint little cafes and places that sell knick-knacks for ridiculously high prices. But, this is the only place in town you can get cold-brewed coffee so…
Cooper, Son Of Anders (Paladin): A silver-maned statue of a man, dedicated to being the voice of reason and, if need be, of angry mobs. He reports that there has been nothing particularly suspicious happening in the area, but that witnesses have reported that a small goblin-like creature had passed through here some 5 minutes ago. (He contradicts himself a lot.) If angered and/or attacked, he calls upon the power of the Crown Nacre of Neverwinter. The CNN summons three lesser sprites and empowers Cooper.
AC: 14 HP: 20 STR: 14 DEX: 11 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 25
Cooper has a special attack: Using his unparalleled investigative skills, Cooper deduces the weaknesses of his enemies, gaining an advantage to his attack rolls.
Lesser Sprite: Like a sprite, but lesser.
AC: 12 HP: 11 STR: 10 DEX: 10 CON: 10 INT: 15: WIS: 10 CHA: 12
Defeating Cooper is worth 250 XP.
You walk through the gentrified streets of East Flushing. It looks very festive – it’s the Yearend Festival after all! Every brick building and the slippery spiral stairs that lead up to them are covered in festive green decorations. Some houses have banners on them, declaring “Have a good year!” Others have banners that say, “Wow this year sucked. Next year is gonna be great!” And then there is one banner that says “New year, new me.” Coincidentally, there is a handsome looking fella sitting on the stairs outside that building. He has the aura of a man who could surf, but also would work really well if cast in one of those legendary champion epics. He is surrounded by broken wine crates.
Rudd (Rogue): Rudd is a whimsical man who doesn’t really mean anyone any harm. Heck, he’s even willing to let you in – obviously, for a price. You see, Rudd really wants to be taken more seriously and is looking to move to Neverwinter where he can start his acting career. He’s been hanging around in this town for too long. So, you can either give him 1000 gp now and jumpstart his career or he will kill you. He can also reveal that there is a hideout inside the building. But I guess that part is obvious.
AC: 14 HP: 20 STR: 12 DEX: 15 CON: 12 INT: 11 WIS: 11 CHA: 11
Rudd has a special attack, 4d3d3d3: He raises his arms and stars flailing around, hitting all targets around him for 1d4.
Rudd draws his twin daggers (Kunu and Tayne). He then yells, “It’s time to slappa da bass mon!” Almost on cue, five goblins in tuxedos and bell-hats jump down into the fray. One of them falls on his head and dies on the spot with a sickening crack.
Defeating Rudd is worth 250XP.
The fight happens. After the fight, a DC 10 perception check allows the players to see that there is a piece of paper sticking out of Rudd’s backpocket. It’s a checklist of some sort – listing all the things Rudd probably wanted to do at some point in his life.
Start acting
Ants
Dance
Silver shirts
Help boss get revenge on town
A DC 15 perception check allows the players to notice that the goblin who cracked his head was actually the one who stole the key to the alcohol cabinet. He doesn’t have it on him though.
You are getting close. It’s time to enter the building.
Chapter 3
The House of Applethrow
The inside of the building is dimly lit by tens of little magical crystals, tied to one another with some sort of cable. You can hear people moving beneath the floor. Whoever’s using this building as a hideout is either really bad at being secretive or they’re not afraid of intruders.
The building has two “real” floors and one secret floor. The main floor has five rooms, in addition to the hallway they’re in. If the party decides to loot them, one of the following five random encounters might happen. Each encounter is worth 50XP.
Locked!: All or some of the party members are locked in the room. The door refuses to open. There is a strange box in the middle of the room on a pedestal. The box beckons to be touched. If touched, the player who touched it will notice that it contains the spirit of a dead elf. The elf will open the door, if the players can convince her that implementing minimum wage laws across the Forgotten Realms would boost economic productivity and not cause her Spiritual Goods Emporium to go out of business. Destroying the box in anger also opens the door, but you don’t get the loot. (The loot in this room is a Spirit Bauble.)
Snakes!: This room is full of snakes! Who has a room full of snakes? The door locks behind the players – obviously – and if they touch the door, the snakes start writhing and clump up into a Snake Golem. (The loot in this room is Snake Leather Boots of Ssssstyle)
AC: 12 HP: 30 STR: 15 DEX: 10 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 8
Oh hi guys!: This room is red and covered in pictures of spoons. In the middle of the room is a wispy elf. His skin is weirdly bright and his slick black hair is shiny and greasy. As the players enter the room, he greets them “Oh hi, guys.” He summons 4 footballs and attacks you – laughing awkwardly as he does so. (The loot in this room is a Single Red Rose.)
AC: 14 HP: 30 STR: 15 DEX: 10 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 3
Football: AC: 8 HP: 6 STR: 8 DEX: 10 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 3
Don’t move!: This room requires the players to stay completely still for 15 seconds. That’s it. Every time they speak or try to do something, they hear a knocking on the door. The knocking talks to them. They can ask it questions and come up with a code of their own. (The loot in this room is a T-Shirt that says “That’s It?”)
Storage!: Oh. This is the storage room. There are some old wine crates here, some of them have some bottles. Don’t try to drink them though, because they have soured and become vinegar.
The second floor is locked. There are a few rooms there, but nothing special about them. Except for one room, which is Applethrow’s office where he keeps the key to the alcohol cabinet.
There is a secret door somewhere on the main floor. It’s in whichever room is the third room.
You discover a ladder in this room that leads downstairs, where you had initially heard the sounds coming from. As you go down the ladder, one by one, you see that it leads to a corridor of sorts. As you look around you, you notice that there are strange drawings on the walls. As you look closer at the drawings, you realize that these are rather… phallic.
You walk and you walk for what feels like 10 minutes. Then, suddenly, a rather large gnome appears before you. He has frizzy hair and seems to be 16 years old. This corridor seems to belong to him.
“Ahahahahahahah. Uhm. Welcome here.”
Jeonah Mound (Fighter): He is an awkward gnome who doesn’t want any trouble. He speaks like everything he says is slam poetry. He likes drawing phallic images. He is willing to let the party go if they actually engage in a slam poetry contest with him.
AC: 13 HP: 25 STR: 12 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 10
Defeating Jeonah is worth 250 XP.
Behind Jeonah was a door. As you open the door you stumble upon a very weird sight: Two skeletons are just talking to each other. Telling jokes? One of them is wearing a red hat with a white fluffy trim. They look exactly alike! Could they be twins?
Stefon: Speaks very airily. Loves talking about the hottest clubs and spots in Neverwinter.
Kristen: Nothing she says is real and she makes everything up on the spot. The problem is, she laughs at all her own jokes.
AC: 12 HP: 20 STR: 10 DEX: 14 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 10
Spell: Dark magick (1d4+3)
Little Bone Monster: AC: 5 HP:4 STR: 12 DEX: 14 CON: 8 INT: 0 WIS: 0 CHA: 10 They attack for (1d4).
The Skeleton Twins will stop their conversation once the party enters the room. They are willing to bargain with the party, since they have so easily dispatched everything they have faced so far. Their bargain is simple: They need a Spirit Bauble. They know there is one somewhere in the house. If they can bring it to them, they can go back to being Regular Twins instead of just Skeleton Twins. Alternatively, you can fight them.
During the fight, the Skeleton Twins summon Little Bone Monsters every round. They also must be killed in the same round, otherwise the one killed will be restored.
Chapter 4
Applethrow Himself
Now that the Skeleton Twins have been dealt with, you take your time to look around at your surroundings. You are in a large room with brick walls. There is a door on the far side. There are bookshelves peppered around. In the bookshelves are books of a great variety. Upon closer look, you see that the books are mostly about winemaking, brewery, and the occasional smut novel.
Some titles:
The 40-Year-Old Vineyard
Supergood Brewing
Oh F**k, Where’s My Malt?
The 10 Year Overnight Success
Once the party decides to go into the next room, the encounter with Applethrow begins.
You open the door and are suddenly met with the overwhelming stench and smell of rotten apples and grapes. You are not in a room, this is more like a hall, with a really tall ceiling. There are columns that lead up to the center of the room, coming from all four corners. In the middle of it all is a throne, made of broken wine bottle crates and actual wine bottles. On this throne sits a Human male in his 50s. He looks like a funny man – a freak and a geek – and is throwing an apple up and down in his right hand.
Applethrow (Warlock): Applethrow doesn’t want anyone to get mad at him. He is just pissed off that Kyle’s business has driven him out of business. He is convinced that Kyle has conspired with the town’s mayor to make selling alcohol illegal except for Kyle’s inn. Outrageous. He is willing to cut a deal with the players. If they go back to Kyle and deal with him, he will pay them handsomely and will let everyone get back to festivities. Otherwise, it’s battle time.
AC: 14 HP: 45 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 13
Applethrow has a few skills:
Apple-throw: Throws a magical apple at the nearest target. Hits 1d4+3
Summon Cruel Angel: When he’s low on HP, Applethrow will yell: Like a cruel angel! Young boy, BECOME A LEGEND!
AC: 11 HP: 20 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 13 1d6+2
Summon The Francos: Two Large Goblins appear. One is short and has really thick eyebrows, the other one is taller and looks kinda goofy.
Dave: AC: 11 HP: 10 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 13 1d4+2
James: AC: 11 HP: 15 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 13 1d6+1
Once Applethrow is defeated, the party can loot him to find the key to his chambers on the second floor. After that, it’s a quick track back up to find the key to the alcohol cabinet. Once they have the key, the party will go back to Kyle O’Driver’s inn.
This encounter can go either of two ways. If the party has defeated Applethrow and they have the key, Kyle welcomes them back and accepts the key. However, he will blame the party for being rabble-rousers and will insult them. Fight can be avoided if the party decides to chat him down and remind him of the importance of free alcohol.
If the party decided to take Applethrow’s offer and decide to confront Kyle, then they will inevitably fight. If Kyle is defeated, Applethrow will suddenly appear in the inn. This will mark the beginning of a new era in the town. The alcohol is kinda not as good as Kyle’s stuff, but still it’s alcohol.
Either way, the story ends with the party getting so drunk that they cannot remember what the fuck happened the night before.
Kyle O’Driver (Arcane Warrior): Kyle is a powerful Dark Elf, who wields the power of the arcane to make ridiculously good booze. He can also use the arcane to conjure a magical flaming sword and is a pretty good fighter. During the fight Kyle summons Spectral Fighters/Archers etc. to support him
AC: 17 HP: 50 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 17 WIS: 12 CHA: 13 1d6+2
Arcane PUSH: Kyle uses the arcane to push his opponents to the ground. STR save against his INT.
Throw Sword: Kyle throws his sword at an enemy for 1d6 damage. For 1 round, Kyle won’t be able to attack with his sword. Can punch for 1d4+4
Spectral Fighter: Ghostly apparition that wields a sword.
AC: 11 HP: 5 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 13 1d6
Spectral Archer: Ghostly apparition that wields a bow and arrows.
AC: 11 HP: 20 STR: 15 DEX: 12 CON: 12 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 13 1d6
Alternatively:
When they get back to the inn and deal with Kyle one way or another, suddenly lights go out and a dark mist starts twirling and swirling around in the middle of the room. From this dark mist, a terrible demon spawns – half goat, half demon, fully evil.
Krampus: Krampus is an evil, evil thing and wants only to stop the festival and get all the alcohol for himself.
AC: 15 HP: 60 STR: 20 DEX: 13 CON: 15 INT: 14 WIS: 12 CHA: 7
Attacks for 1d6
It’s Sack Time!: Takes the nearest player and puts them in a sack. Player needs to do a DC 12 STR check to free themselves from the sack.
Soulful Singing: Krampus starts to sing some sick soul tune. Advantage to his attack rolls, but minus 5 to his AC.